The A’s to Z’s of Just Looking at Ourselves
Compassion
We’ve made it through Christmas and we’re entering the New Year. We’ve arrived at “Compassion,” in the A-Z’s of just looking at ourselves. Can we “Accept” that we did the best we could over the holidays no matter how things turned out? Were we able to find “Balance” in the harried expectations of buying, wrapping, cooking, and partying? Can we have compassion for ourselves first? Compassion is defined as an expression of love and mercy that comes from an understanding heart. A compassionate mind sees the error, but does not condemn.
Whenever we judge someone, it’s as if we’re pointing our finger at them, like our parents or teachers did to us as kids. Try it! Point your finger at this column and look at your hand. Notice how your index finger sticks straight out, but the other three are bent back pointing at you. This means that no matter who or what we’re judging, it’s likely that we have that same quality in ourselves but we’re not aware or honestly looking at it. We disconnect from judging the moment we ask the question, “how am I that way?” When the answer comes, we realize that we’re all cut from the same cloth. Peace of mind is restored. It’s impossible to be judgmental and compassionate at the same time.
Meister Eckhart, a 16th century mystic said, “The highest work of God is compassion.” We’ve all heard the expression, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” How can we be compassionate toward our neighbor, if we’re not compassionate toward ourselves? How we feel about others is often a direct reflection of how we feel about ourselves. True compassion comes from a healthy sense of self, from the awareness of who we are, what we honor and why we’re here. We can all agree that the events of 9/11 created a compassionate feeling of connectedness in the face of this universal pain and loss.
Compassion for ourselves creates the power to transform resentment into forgiveness, hatred into friendliness and fear into respect for all living beings. True compassion arises from a fearless capacity to embrace all things, touch all things and relate to everyone as an important part of “One human family.” When we are committed to transforming our judgments into compassion, we embrace everything that happens to us in life as a series of lessons and blessings.
There is no set formula on how to practice compassion. Like all great spiritual arts, it requires that we listen and attend, take an honest look at ourselves to understand our motives, and ask ourselves if our actions are helpful or hurtful. When I slip into self-righteousness and have the need to tell someone what I think, a friend will remind me to ask myself, “Does this need to be said now? Does it need to be said by me? What are my motives for saying it? Will what I have to say hurt or help the situation?”
When we look at ourselves, our attitudes change, and we are no longer victims or martyrs but powerful co-creators of our reality. Let’s start 2007 by transforming our judgment and intolerance into compassion and forgiveness. Let’s resolve to be gentler traveling companions with ourselves first, and then extend this gift to all we encounter. Have as safe & Happy New Year!
